"The Fascist-o-Matic," by Paul Iorio.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Wanna play "The Fascist-o-Matic"? Here's how it works.

I've listed fifteen restrictions on individual liberties by
autocrats ranging from Kim Jong-Un to Adolf Hitler and have
divided them into three columns that can be mixed and matched to
create your own totalitarian law!

Just take one clause from Column A and mix it at random with
another clause from columns B and C. (Ex.: "Hindus
must...have a sun tan...under penalty of a forced haircut.")

Of course, each line, read straight across, describes an
actual regulation imposed by an autocratic state or group.
(See below for more back-up info on each real-life
totalitarian regulation!)

Enjoy! (click to enlarge)

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OK, now that you've emjoyed the "Fascist-o-Matic,"
here's my back-up research on each real-life law!


1) Hitler lifted his total ban on dancing in July 1940, allowing it only Wednesdays and

Saturdays between 7pm and curfew.

2) One of the reasons Ayatollah Kazim Sadighi of Iran has cracked down on women with

sun tans is because a female tan might cause earthquakes.

3) The Islamic extremist group Hizbul Islam has forbidden radio stations in

Somalia to air music (and the stations, fearing violence, have complied, much to the chagrin

of some in the Somali government).

4) Kim Jong-il has declared that all men in North Korea must wear their hair short (or face a

forced haircut).

5) In August 1940, Hitler forbade Jews from entering a store or market, except

between four and five pm.

6) Sharia law in Pakistan and other Islamic countries forbids people to play the tambourine,

except at circumcisions and weddings.

7) In 2001, Mullah Omar's Taliban regime in Afghanistan forced Hindus to wear a yellow

badge in public.

8) Islamic radical group The Shabab have banned the ringing of schoolbells in parts of Somalia.

9) Sharia law in Pakistan and elsewhere forbids people to play the mandolin, flute or lute.

10) In August 1940, Hitler decreed that Jews were not allowed to use a telephone, except to contact

a doctor or hospital.

11) Islamic militants worldwide have used deadly violence to stop people from showing

pictures of the Muslim Prophet Muhammad and other religious figures.

12) Under Kim Jong-il, blue jeans are banned in North Korea.

13) Hitler banned Superman comics, which he considered too Jewish.

14) In the Third Reich, Jews had to wear a yellow star on their clothing in public.

15) Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, the autocratic president of Indonesia, banned

protesters from bringing buffaloes to demonstrations (he felt the buffalo might be seen as

an unflattering caricature of himself).

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1. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,772395,00.html#ixzz0ot3nPqhc

2 http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/2010/04/28/2010-04-28_tehran_police_chief_iran_to_crack_down_on_suntanned_women.html

3. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/14/world/africa/14somalia.html?scp=1&sq=somalia ibrahim&st=cse

4. http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2005/jan/12/broadcasting.koreanews

5. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,764406,00.html#ixzz0ot9TxiNj

6. http://www.muhammadanism.org/Government/Government_Sharia_Music.htm

7. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/1346354.stm

8. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/16/world/africa/16somalia.html

9. http://www.muhammadanism.org/Government/Government_Sharia_Music.htm

10. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,764406,00.html#ixzz0ot9TxiNj

11. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/article725158.ece

12. http://books.google.com/books?id=JwWutQs5jUwC&pg=PA30&lpg=PA30&dq=north+korea+%22blue+jeans%22+ban&source=bl&ots=P4Bb6CBSfg&sig=DBhtYXy99JxScAdVjK63tque_y4&hl=en&ei=go8CTIffM4yINvm7gbYK&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=10&ved=0CDYQ6AEwCQ#v=onepage&q&f=false

13. http://edition.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/books/03/18/superhero.history/index.html

14. http://www.chgs.umn.edu/museum/exhibitions/fragments/theStar.html

15. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/indonesia/7156371/Indonesia-bans-buffaloes-from-political-protests.html